Women can be the best of friends or worst enemies. If you think that Carrie and her friends in Sex In The City are the norm, think again. Young women especially have a way of competing rather than supporting each other. That's a pity.
I for one was unprepared for the drama surrounding my daughter's all-woman's college. I think, neither was my daughter.
Don't get me wrong. Academically, it has been an incredible experience for her so far. However, the theatrics surrounding a group of women roommates in a women's college would make a perfect reality show for television. This year, my daughter has been sharing a college suite with 8 other girls. As my 15-year old son said dryly after the latest dorm report; " It's like the 'Bachelor' without the bachelor!" Touché!
It is amazing how much time these young ladies spend finding fault with each other: Who is speaking with whom, who is spending too much time with that one, who said what about whom and what...its hard to keep up.
Maybe this is just part of the college experience and an important life lesson. Learning to get along with others may be the most valuable college lesson. I am just shocked at the viciousness of it all. Surprised especially that young intelligent girls play out these feuds as though they were still in an elementary school yard.
I for one have truly appreciated my women friends. They are an important part of my life. I can count on them to be there when I just need to be heard. They seem to know instinctively what I need when life gets me down. And an hour spent in their presence over a cup of coffee or a stiff drink is always a highlight.
My friends and I are past judging each other, past comparing ourselves and our fortunes. We know that life is not a race to be won. Sometimes, all seems to go great for one and not so great for the other, and then life reverses fortune. Back and forth, never the same for long. We rally around the one who needs help. As long as we have each others friendship we can cope.
Dorm room dramatics are such a waste of time. I hope these young ladies realize sooner rather than later that playing games with each other just hurts them individually. Wake up, you are not in kindergarten any more.
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4 comments:
As the daughter:
It's when you need friends the most that you know who you can trust. It's too bad for these girls that they will realize too late that I have moved on without them because they dwell too much in their love for theatrics.
In the end, I feel better because, after all, who needs friends who don't care much about you? I'd rather spend a little more time by myself and cherish the relationships that really mean something to me.
How wise. You will realize that all one needs is a handful of friends.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
George Washington (1732 - 1799)
There have been times in my life where I have had an incredibly supportive group of women friends. Recently I had an incredible hardship and heard from almost no one. Actually i mostly had my men friends checking on me. One friend who was there for me said "woman only support each other in the movies".....nobody loves you when your down....hope it's all not true!
Hi Lisanne,
What great fun that you found my blog. I have been reading yours in the last few weeks and have enjoyed it quite a bit. I especially liked the one about the changes in the hood. I feel exactly the same...I miss the old Italian neighborhood.
We must live right around the corner from each other...
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